luckyjak:

Tumblr, please stop sending me emails telling me what’s happening right now on Tumblr.

I know what’s happening right now on Tumblr.

I never leave.

twofingerswhiskey:

postllimit:

ladies if anyone ever tries to tell you “ugh u have to shave” stare em dead in the eyes and go “fine. u do it.” and when they look back at you all horrified and go “ew no that’s ur business” just stand there with ur arms crossed until they realize what they just said

i did this to my mother today and she just quietly left the room

Anonymous asked:
tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image

"Lass uns alles tun. Weil wir können und nicht müssen"
Julia Engelmann (via happy-absturz)
littlefuryous:

An elegant meal for one, tonight.